The Center Of My Universe

A co-worker and I often swap kid stories - his is a rambunctious eight-year-old boy, mine a spunky, newly-mischievous eight-month-old girl.  He and his wife are older parents (even older than BD and me!), and I love hearing his take on things.  A recent exchange:

CW: "You can't treat the kid like she's the center of the universe."

GM: "Why not?"

CW: "You'll spoil her."

GM: "But she's the center of MY universe.  I think it's okay to treat her as such."

CW: "Hmmmm."

And that's the truth - Babydoll is absolutely, 100% the center of my and BD's world.  Everything we do revolves around her.  I go to work every day, even though I hate it most days, to provide a nice home and lifestyle for her.  BD stays home, occasionally going stir-crazy, to care for her.  She is with one, or both, of us 99.9%* of the time.  And we like it that way.  She's our child.  We like her.  We like spending time with her.  She's fun to hang out with (I am fully aware of the poor grammar there.  I'm okay with it).  Maybe that will change in ten years, or whenever this "tween" business begins

Side note: is "tween" the same thing as "pre-teen?"

Anyway.  The following morning, another exchange between Co-Worker and me:

CW: "Hey, you know what?"

GM: "Monkey butt?"

CW: "I told the wife what you said about the kid being the center of your universe, and she said that I'm full of shit because CWK (co-worker's kid) is most definitely the center of our world, too.  Thought I'd let you know."

GM: "Right on.  So, are you going to make a fresh pot of coffee?  You took the last cup."

Seriously, what's the "tween" thing about?  Is it all Hannah Montana and Bratz dolls?

* Babydoll was left in the care of my parents one evening when her daddy and I decided to go out on a baby-free date.  It was disastrous.  We picked her up two hours after dropping her off.  We keep saying we'll try again.  That was a couple months ago.  Maybe next year.

Toxic Shock

I've spent a lot of time in the last year researching how to rid our home of toxins and implementing greener, non-toxic ways to live.  I spent so much time doing that for my home, for my family, that I neglected to get rid of that which causes more damage than anything else.

Toxic people.

You know these people.  They undermine your happiness, your confidence, your overall well-being, on a regular basis.  You keep them around because "She wasn't always like that," or "I've known him for X amount of time," or "But they're family."  Guilt plays a huge factor in it, I think.  You don't have to have been raised Catholic to know the inherent power of guilt.  As a mother, I am wracked with it.  While I can't shake off the Mother's Guilt (and probably never will), I recently made the decision to to flush that extra toxic guilt down the toilet.  Buh-bye.

There's also the ongoing drama involved when toxic people are allowed to pervade your life.  It's drama that sucks you in and perpetuates until you're finally able to say "Screw you.  Get out."  And when that drama finally clears out, the first breath of fresh, clean, non-toxic air you draw into your lungs feels like the sweetest breath ever.  Your shoulders relax.  Your mind slows down.  YOU slow down.

It's freakin' awesome.

It's probably one of the more difficult challenges I've faced in recent years, getting the toxic people out of my life.  Hurtful things were said, accusations were flung, tears were shed.  And then it was done.  Over.  Never to be re-visited.  The next morning, I felt as though I had slept better.  I truly felt lighter.  I was in a better mood than I'd been in for a long time.  I realized just how much I'd been in need of that kind of cleaning.  That realization also helped me see how much those toxins were affecting my relationship with my family and my attitude at home.  It's my fault that I let it go on as long as it did, that I didn't squelch that shit immediately. 

Ah.  More guilt.

Groovy Book Review!

I've been reading to Babydoll since she was in utero; she's now eight months old and fascinated by the pictures, the rhythms and tones of my voice as I recite to her, and I occasionally kid myself that she's actually following the story.

I was starting to toy with the idea of reviewing children's books, here and there, when I was contacted by an author whose book had just been published, asking if I would read it and post a review.  "Yeah, dude!  Hell yeah!"  I believe my answer may have been a bit more professional than that, but you get the idea.  I was excited then, and now having read and shared the book with my daughter, I'm really excited to share it with you.

CANDY STORE AT THE EDGE OF THE GALAXY

Aleza Freeman and Howard Freeman

The book is a collection of "poems and drawings for kids and the kid @ heart."  The poems are funny.  Really, really funny.  They are clever, playful, and a few of them border on flat-out silly, which is exactly what children's poems should be.  The pictures ("doodles") are bright, amusing, and definitely hold Babydoll's interest.  Her personal favorite, now that we've read the book several times, seems to be "Fish Food:"

She runs her hands over the doodles for "Fish Food" while screeching,

which translates to "Mama, this is sooooooo freaking awesome!"

Groovy Mama's favorite poem is titled "Alphabetland."  Here is an excerpt:

"There once was a day when W met E.

They joined together and formed a WE.

Their love grew stronger as time passed by

and they became F-A-M-I-L-Y."

Yeah.  Awwww.  Overall, the twelve poems in the collection, and their accompanying doodles, passed the Babydoll test.  Not only was her attention held the first time we shared it, but every time since then, she giggles, swats at the pictures, grabs it from me, and waves it around.  You might think that's just normal behavior for a baby of her age, but trust me, if the kid is bored, she's not shy about letting us know.  I love the whimsy of the drawings and the wit of the poems.  It's a fun book for any collection, and I'm happy to give it two groovy thumbs up (I was gonna say two peace signs, but that was predictable.  You deserve better.).

Special thanks to Big Doodlehead