Toxic Shock

I've spent a lot of time in the last year researching how to rid our home of toxins and implementing greener, non-toxic ways to live.  I spent so much time doing that for my home, for my family, that I neglected to get rid of that which causes more damage than anything else.

Toxic people.

You know these people.  They undermine your happiness, your confidence, your overall well-being, on a regular basis.  You keep them around because "She wasn't always like that," or "I've known him for X amount of time," or "But they're family."  Guilt plays a huge factor in it, I think.  You don't have to have been raised Catholic to know the inherent power of guilt.  As a mother, I am wracked with it.  While I can't shake off the Mother's Guilt (and probably never will), I recently made the decision to to flush that extra toxic guilt down the toilet.  Buh-bye.

There's also the ongoing drama involved when toxic people are allowed to pervade your life.  It's drama that sucks you in and perpetuates until you're finally able to say "Screw you.  Get out."  And when that drama finally clears out, the first breath of fresh, clean, non-toxic air you draw into your lungs feels like the sweetest breath ever.  Your shoulders relax.  Your mind slows down.  YOU slow down.

It's freakin' awesome.

It's probably one of the more difficult challenges I've faced in recent years, getting the toxic people out of my life.  Hurtful things were said, accusations were flung, tears were shed.  And then it was done.  Over.  Never to be re-visited.  The next morning, I felt as though I had slept better.  I truly felt lighter.  I was in a better mood than I'd been in for a long time.  I realized just how much I'd been in need of that kind of cleaning.  That realization also helped me see how much those toxins were affecting my relationship with my family and my attitude at home.  It's my fault that I let it go on as long as it did, that I didn't squelch that shit immediately. 

Ah.  More guilt.