Finding Our Way, Or How To Have Faith When Life Hurls Shit In Your Face

I haven't written in awhile.  A dear friend told me yesterday that she misses my blog.  My response to her was that I haven't been inspired, but that's not entirely true.  I generally try to share information that is relevant to my style of parenting and my lifestyle, and I always try to keep it upbeat.  My inspiration, of late, has been dark and melancholy, without a hint of sunshine anywhere.

My family has been through an unbelievable trauma.  I don't want to use the word "tragedy," because while our loss has been tragic, I don't consider it a tragedy.  But "trauma," that word fits.  Cancer struck our home and ripped it apart.  My dear, sweet daughter, my most precious charm, my angel, is without her father, and I am without my partner.  I will skip the details, because, quite frankly, I don't want to talk about it anymore.

What I've been working on is maintaining my faith.  My family has helped me tremendously.  The love within ours is fiercely protective and unconditionally accepting.  A hug and look from my mother reassures me that I will get through this, that I will undoubtedly pull myself together, and that life will absolutely go on.  The quiet strength and resolve of my dad lends itself to everyone in our family - some things don't need to be spoken.  They just are and always will be.  My youngest brother provides proof that laughter is the best medicine, and my other brother always demonstrates that hard work and perseverance, never giving up and never accepting "No," always pays off in the end.  My sweet sister-in-law gently lifts us up and brings us together in so many ways. My aunt gives the the tightest, most heartfelt hugs and small whispers of encouragement, and sometimes that is all you need to keep going.

And then there is my baby.  It is she who truly keeps me going, and it is she who reminds me that faith lives in my heart.  I do have faith that we will find our way together, and that we are, in fact, already finding it.  I've made some small strides in reclaiming my life in the last couple of weeks and one great big one is on the horizon.  I have faith in my higher power, in my loving family, in my amazing friends, and most importantly, in myself.

I hope that you will always have faith, too, in whatever form suits you, no matter what life hurls at you.