Just Wait

"Just wait."

People start spewing those two hideous little words as soon as you announce your pregnancy.

"You think you pee a lot now?  Just wait until after you give birth, you won't be able to sneeze without wetting your pants."

If someone says this to you, give them a detailed description of Kegel exercises.  Perhaps ask if they'd like a demonstration.  By the way, this little gem isn't true for every woman. 

"Oh, you think your back hurts now?  Just wait until you're in labor."

No pregnant woman on Earth expects her labor to be a breeze.  Don't be Captain Obvious, idiot.

"You should sleep as much as you can right now.  Just wait until the baby is born.  You'll never sleep again."

Obviously, you've never been nine months' pregnant.  It is impossible to get a decent night's sleep, between the constant trips to the bathroom, the inability to get comfortable, the aching back and hips and breasts.

"You guys should have all the sex you can right now.  Just wait, after the baby is born, you'll never have sex again."

A: gross.  Your sex life is no one's business.

B: again, you've obviously never been nine months' pregnant.

C: yes, you will have sex again.  Probably even frequently.  You're not sleeping anyway, right?

"So you're thinking of natural childbirth?  Just wait until you're in labor.  You'll trade your husband for an epidural."

This one drives me up the damn wall.  Women planning on natural childbirth should be encouraged, supported, heralded even.  I believe in you, mama.  You can do it.

"You think you're hormonal now?  Just wait until you have the baby and postpartum depression sets in."

This one drives me nuts, too.  First of all, every woman experiences major hormonal shifts during pregnancy.  That emotional roller coaster can make you feel crazy, happy, sad, listless, energetic, sexy, extremely un-sexy, and excited.  After giving birth, many women experience Baby Blues.  It's temporary, it's normal, and it's okay.  Baby Blues is NOT the same as Postpartum Depression and anyone who gives you the idea that they are has, again, never been pregnant and given birth.  Postpartum Depression is a serious condition and your care provider (OB/GYN, midwife, and/or doula) can help determine if you have it. 

"You think your toddler is driving you crazy?  Just wait until the new baby comes.  You'll lose your mind."

Hey jerk, instead of saying that, why not try this: "After the baby is born, I'd like to come over and give you a hand with Toddler.  I'll bring dinner, too."

Honestly, I don't know why our family, friends, co-workers, and strangers think any of the above comments are helpful.  They aren't funny, either.  And really, WHY would you mess with a pregnant woman?