BD and I believe that families should sleep together. From the time Babydoll was three weeks old, she has slept securely between her Daddy and me. It's comfortable, it's safe, and, best of all, I wake up to her perfect little baby face every morning.
For centuries, families from all walks have slept together. In tribal communities, it ensured that the child was safe and protected from the elements and wild animals. In the early days of America, most homes were small and there was often only one or two bedrooms, which meant that in a family of five, someone was sharing a bed with more than one other person. In more recent America, bedsharing or co-sleeping has become taboo. Why? Why are we in such a rush to push our babies away from us? Bedsharing and co-sleeping facilitate longer breastfeeding, reduce the risk of SIDS, and keep working mothers and fathers attached to their babies.
- SIDS: studies have shown that bedsharing and/or co-sleeping greatly reduce the risk of SIDS. How? Think about it. If your baby is asleep next to you, rather than down the hall in another room, you're much more aware of his breathing patterns. Additionally, the mother's breathing regulates the baby's own. In the early days of Babydoll's existence, she slept in the crook of my arm. One night, I tested this idea. If I took a deep breath, she immediately took a deep breath. If I took shorter, more shallow breaths, she did the same. Isn't that amazing?
- Breastfeeding mothers that sleep with their child(ren) find it so much easier to feed in the middle of the night. As breastfeeding becomes more established, sometimes the mama and baby don't even fully wake when the baby needs to feed. Baby latches, nurses, then rolls away and falls back to sleep. This helps both mama and baby (and daddy, too) get more restful sleep, even when baby needs to feed during the night. This also helps mamas, especially working mamas, continue to breastfeed for a longer period of time, rather than having the baby wean or their milk supply diminish earlier than they'd like.
- It helps with staying attached. As a working mother, I miss out on many hours with my sweet pea during the day. Those are precious hours, and I hate being away from home. But one must do what one must do. In addition to babywearing when I'm home, sleeping with my baby helps us gain more hours together, even if we're both zonked out. And hey, I'll take what I can get.
- It's just natural for us. For both BD and me, it never even came up as a topic of discussion. We both feel that families should sleep together for as long as all parties want to do so. Once I had more or less recovered from my c-section and was able to sleep in my own bed again (the first three weeks were spent sleeping on the couch because it was so much easier to get up and down from it), we began bedsharing with our beautiful baby. Seven months later, we are still enjoying it.
- You're more aware of your baby's sleeping patterns and any issues that come up during the night. When Babydoll is restless (as she often is), instead of allowing her to wake fully and call our attention, we are right there to cuddle, soothe and pacify her right back into sleep. When she is teething or doesn't feel well, we are right there to keep her comfortable and allow her more rest.
Bedsharing is when all members sleep in the same bed. Co-sleeping is when all members sleep in the same room, but not necessarily the same bed. The term "co-sleeping" is most often used though the person usually means "bedsharing." Either way, it's still families sleeping together and it's a beautiful thing.
*Safety should always be practiced when bedsharing and co-sleeping. Babies should not use a pillow, nor have a blanket pulled up to their chin. We keep Babydoll's blanket pulled up to her tummy. If either parent has been drinking, or taken any kind of drug (prescription or otherwise), baby shouldn't sleep in the same bed. We use a fan to keep air circulating throughout the room and to keep the temperature cool (which you should do even if baby sleeps in a crib). Please read Dr. Sears' recommendations for safe bedsharing and co-sleeping. Dr. Sears does not recommend that the baby sleep between the mother and father, but it's what works for us. Use your best judgment, as with everything.
**If you don't currently practice family bed, you're probably wondering how BD and I maintain our "adult" relationship when there's a baby tucked between us. Without getting graphic (I'm so not a kiss-and-tell kind of girl), I will say that it definitely hasn't suffered. There are plenty of rooms in the house, beside the bedroom. S-E-X does not have to be confined to a bed in a bedroom. That is all. Wink.
