Time Is Love

There's a Josh Turner song, titled "Time Is Love."  I'm sure it's meant to be a romantic love song, but since becoming a mother, I often hear parent-child love in music instead of romance.  If you don't mind a quasi-country tune, check it out.  If country, or anything close to it, makes you want to ram kittens into your ears, then here's a sample of the lyrics:

I know I gotta put in the hours,

Make the money while the sunlight shines

But anything I gotta get done,

It can get done some other time

Time is love, gotta run,

Love to hang longer,

But I got someone who waits,

Waits for me and right now

She's where I need to be,

Time is love, gotta run

I only get so many minutes,

Don't wanna spend 'em all on the clock

In the time that we spent talkin',

How many kisses have I lost?

These lyrics sum up perfectly my work days.  I leave the house at 5:30 in the morning (it's an ungodly thing), so I miss waking up to her giggles.  I miss her singing to herself and shaking the sleep out of her curls.  I miss her demands of ice water once she's up (so much like her mama).  I miss the mornings, four days a week.

I have become a clockwatcher when I'm at the office.  As soon as the bell tolls, I'm out the door.  No chit chat about weekend plans, no acceptance of after-work drinks, not even an insincere "have a good night" offered to co-workers.  Nothing.

I remember, once upon a time, I was a driven career woman, plotting my moves up the ladder.  While I still have ambitions, I now have different priorities and they don't include spending 60 hours a week at a boring, thankless desk job.  Once I'm home, I do my best to focus on my family.

I gotta go.  My baby is waiting for me.

Toddler Nutrition 101, The Groovy Way

My kid is a picky eater.  For a true food-lover like me, this is disheartening.  In my quest to find appropriate, nutritious foods for her, I've searched on Pinterest and found all these lists of toddler lunches, snacks, breakfasts, etc.  They are great lists, with a lot of good ideas...but my baby doesn't eat most of what the other bloggers' kids eat.  No peanut butter...no Kraft slices...no deli meats...no eggs...no cutesy sandwiches...nope.

For quite awhile, I worried and stressed and cried over Babydoll's eating habits (or lack thereof).  I couldn't comprehend how in the world we ended up with a picky eater.  BD will eat anything but beets.  I am only slightly picky, in that I don't dig on swine.  Or beets (this is why we are a well-suited match.  Damn the beets!).  So how, HOW, could we have turned out a child who only eats strawberries and pasta?

Over time, I realized that I hadn't had a good kitchen challenge in some time.  Fine then, universe.  Challenge accepted.

When I was pregnant, I bought a copy of "Deceptively Delicious" by Jessica Seinfeld on clearance at Ross.  Surely, I told myself, there will be no true need for this book.  But it was $3.00 and had a lot of puree recipes, so I figured it wouldn't go to waste.

That book was the wisest impulse purchase EVER.

I had always thought that I would be the parent who made only one meal, and if you didn't eat it, then you went to bed hungry.

Well, I'm not that parent right now.  And I don't feel badly about it.

As with everything else we've encountered in this parenting game, the kid is calling the shots.  She didn't sleep through the night regularly until she was 17 months old.  She didn't walk until she was 14 months old.  She is independent, affectionate, funny, smart and determined to do everything in her own time.  I'm still getting used to it and learning to let go of some of the control.

I've mentioned before that one of the main facets of attachment parenting is respecting the child.  One of the ways we do this is recognizing that her taste buds and preferences are not the same as ours, and that's okay. Her pickiness may not be forever.  Some day, she may dive into the baked hake and sauteed brussells sprouts with the same fervor we do.  In the meantime, it's my job to make sure that what she does eat is as nutritious as possible.  This means:

• The cheese sauce for macaroni and cheese is always made with a vegetable puree, like butternut squash or cauliflower.  Vegetables, like peas and carrots, are always added to the pasta.
• Snacks are cut up fruit, vegetables, yogurt, cheese, granola bars, and fruit puree pouches.  She has recently developed a taste for Goldfish crackers and Annie's Cheddar Bunnies, so she gets a handful of those in her snack cup.
• Quinoa is added to all kinds of dishes.
• Smoothies are made with flax seed, spinach or kale, Greek yogurt, almond milk, and lots of fresh or frozen fruit.
• Pesto is made with spinach and basil, flax seed, olive oil and Parmesan (I call it "Magic Sauce.")
• Milk, water, and herbal tea to drink.  Juice is high in sugar and low in nutrition.

I have long been an avid label-reader, even more so now.  If it has no nutritional value, she's not getting it.  I think of it this way: she doesn't eat much, so when she does eat, it needs to pack a punch.  We never miss an opportunity to add a vegetable, fruit or grain to her meals.  I often make several days' worth of lunch for her in one batch, usually in the form of whole wheat pasta cooked in vegetable broth, with veggies (Trader Joe's sells an Awesome Foursome frozen veggie pack that is perfect), some seasoning, butter or cheese sauce.  Muffins are made with fruit, vegetables, or both.

She's still a vegetarian, but I know that she's getting enough protein and iron, because we make a conscious effort about it.  She eats with a fork and spoon, though she still uses her fingers, too.  Sometimes, she makes a huge mess (she recently had a yogurt goatee - it was literally dripping off her face), but this is part of toddlerhood.  She can't learn how to feed herself exclusively if we don't allow her to try.  And here's the thing: sometimes BD and I want to have fish, or scallops, or steak for dinner.  We know she's not going to eat it.  We put a little on her plate anyway, but we also serve her something we know she will eat.  I don't have a problem with it.  I envy those parents who truly can cook just one meal that is happily devoured by the whole family.  Until that day arrives for us (please hurry), I'm satisfied in knowing that what she does eat is wholesome and good for her.

That's good enough.

Homemade organic plum-applesauce

Groovy Recipe: Zucchini Bread

Last week, I took Babydoll to her first dance class (EEEEEEEEE!!!  I loved dance as a little girl, and I hope she will, too).  While signing in, the program director showed us the huge zucchini she'd plucked from her garden.  "I don't know what to do with it," she said.  "You could make zucchini bread, or muffins, with it," I suggested.  "I don't cook," was her laughing reply.  A friend of mine, Diva's Mama, happily volunteered me to take that bad boy home and whip it into something edible.  I told the director I'd have Babydoll's Daddy bring her the results when he brought the kiddo to her play group the following week.

We brought him home.  He sat on the dining room table for a few days.  I wondered if he was, in fact, edible at all.  This was he, in his former state:

That is a full-size laptop, for comparison.

I conferred with my Facebook cooking group (yeah...I'm THAT kind of nerd).  The conclusion was that it would be suitable for baking, but nothing else.  Bread, or muffins, coming right up!

*This recipe is lovingly adapted from my kitchen bible, The Joy of Cooking.

ZUCCHINI BREAD

* makes 1 full sized loaf, 4 mini loaves, or 12(ish) muffins

Ingredients

2 cups grated zucchini, squeezed of extra moisture

2 eggs

1/2 cup oil

2/3 cup sugar

1 tbsp vanilla

1 1/4 cup flour (I use wheat; you can sub white, or half and half)

1 tsp baking soda

1 tsp baking powder

1/4 tsp salt

1 tsp nutmeg

1 tsp cinnamon

Before I get going on the method, let me show you how I dismantled this thing in order to get it ready for grating.  It was quite a process.  It involved my machete (a 12" Santoku knife), a non-slip cutting mat, a spoon, and a mandoline fitted with a grater.  The skin was extremely tough, so that had to be removed.  The center was reminiscent of a pumpkin.  I had to cut the beast into quarters, skin it, remove the membranes and seeds, then cut each quarter into multiple pieces.

Hacking away.

Now we can grate!

A big-ass bowl of grated zucchini.

Method:

Preheat oven to 350.  Grease up whatever receptacle you're going to pour the batter into.

Sift together the flour, baking soda, baking powder, spices and salt.  In a large bowl, whisk together the eggs, oil, sugar and vanilla.  Using a few, quick strokes, fold the dry ingredients into the wet (don't over mix).  Fold in the zucchini with a few more strokes.  Pour the batter into the pan or tin.

Bake at 350 for 45-50 minutes (for a large loaf), 35-40 minutes (for four mini loaves), or 25-30 minutes (for muffins).  Do a toothpick test to check if it's done.  Let cool in its pan for at least 20 minutes, then flip out and serve right away, or within four days.

That big-ass zucchini made four batches of the above recipe.

Groovy Recipe: Mango-Ginger Muffins

BD and I started a Mother Hubbard challenge last weekend.  The goal is to use all of the items we have in the pantry, fridge, and freezer before we go grocery shopping again.  So far, so good.  We have a bunch of stuff in the freezer that I'd completely forgotten about!  I'll write up the experience once we've finished.

On Sunday, I was in the mood to bake, and I knew we'd need an easy breakfast for the coming week.  Muffins!  I thought we'd had blueberries in the freezer, but that was the one thing the freezer did not contain. I spied a bag of frozen mango chunks and the hamster wheel in my head started turning.  A poke around the refrigerator revealed a small jar of minced ginger.  Aha!  This is what I churned out:

Mango-Ginger Muffins

*yield 12 muffins (actually, more like 16)

Ingredients

1 cup whole wheat flour

1 cup white flour

1 tablespoon baking powder

1/4 teaspoon salt

1 tablespoon ground flax seed

2/3 cup sugar

2 eggs

1 cup milk

1/2 cup oil or melted butter

1 cup chopped mango

1 tablespoon fresh minced ginger

2 teaspoons vanilla

A healthy dash of nutmeg

A healthy dash of cinnamon

Topping

1/4 cup raw sugar (or regular...whatever you have)

1/2 teaspoon powdered ginger

1/2 teaspoon nutmeg

Preheat the oven to 400.  Spray your muffin tin(s) lightly with cooking spray (or use paper liners).

Whisk together the topping ingredients and set aside.

Whisk together the flours, flax, baking powder, salt, cinnamon and nutmeg.  In a large bowl, whisk together the eggs, milk, sugar, vanilla and oil.  Fold the dry ingredients into the wet ingredients with just a few swift strokes.  Stir in the mango and ginger.  Don't over mix your batter!  This leads to dry, dense, yucky muffins.  Your batter will be lumpy - this is what you want.

Evenly distribute the batter among the muffin cups.  I filled mine about 3/4 full and got nicely fluffed muffins.  You can do 2/3 full and still get a good-sized muffin (and that would stretch the batter to at least another 2 muffins, for a total of 18).  Sprinkle the sugar mixture over the batter.

Bake for 15-20 minutes (check them after 15 minutes!).  A toothpick should come out clean if they're done.

Cool in the pan for about 5 minutes, then serve or remove from pan and cool completely before storing in a covered container.  Eat within 5 days for best taste.

They are so yummy!  If you're a ginger freak like me, you can easily add an extra tablespoon minced ginger to the batter.  The sugary topping really makes the muffin, in my opinion, so please don't omit it!  My picky Babydoll ate a whole one in just a couple of minutes.  That alone tells me that this recipe is a winner.

Making Change

The life of a working mother is a difficult one.  I am referring to those of us who work outside the home.  I know, all mothers are working mothers - I get it.  But I have no experience as a stay-at-home mom, so I can't comment on the challenges of those who are.

The day-to-day challenges of meeting expectations both at home and at work are trying, tiresome, and, sometimes, impossible.  Babydoll was only 10 weeks old when my maternity leave was up and I had to return to work.  She is almost 18 months old now (what???) and it is no less difficult today than it was back then.  I hate leaving in the morning.  I hate knowing what I'm missing.  I hate not being able to take her to story time, play group, baby development classes, etc.  The scheduling of those, in my city at least, are geared for the stay-at-home set.  

It doesn't help that I hate my job.

I've spent a great amount of time whining and feeling sorry for myself  because I have to work.  I've cried during my commute, because Babydoll cried when I left for work.  I've harbored resentment toward those who lament on Facebook: "Didn't get to take my nap today because Junior just wouldn't go down for his!"  Grrrr.  

When I got pregnant, I knew that I would be returning to work after my unpaid maternity leave was up.  There was no choice.  I recalled everything I'd ever read about career women with families, and how we can have it all.

Sure, you can have it all.  If you don't sleep.

Anyhoo.

During BD's week-long hospital stay, I took vacation time to stay at home with Babydoll and try to keep her in a routine.  It was during this week that I realized just how much I was missing.  Couple that with feeling like a shitty mother who never makes time for her child, and the result is a huge, massive tidal wave of guilt.  After much crying and whining and groaning, I slapped myself in the face (verbally, not literally).  "Grow up.  Quit your bitching and figure out a solution."  There had to be some way for me to work full-time but still get in enough quality time at home.

The solution occurred to me at 3:14 a.m. on a Friday.  Of course.  Isn't that always when solutions present themselves?

My idea was to ask my boss if I could begin a four 10's schedule: that's working four days a week, for ten hours each day.  This schedule would allow me to get in my 40 hours but would also give me 3 days off each week.  Jackpot!  I e-mailed my boss with my proposal (Sunday - Wednesday, 6 a.m. - 4 p.m.) and eagerly, but nervously, awaited his response.  He e-mailed me back later that evening with "Let me think about it."

Eeeks.  But as my friend, Aileen, pointed out, he didn't say no immediately.

A harrowing 36 hours later, he popped into my office and settled into a chair.  "Okay," he said.  I raised an eyebrow.  "Okay?" I asked.  "Okay, you can have your new schedule.  You want to start it next week?" he responded.

YES!!!

Something my brother, Sam, often says: "Ask and you shall receive."  I was seriously scared shitless about asking for this change, but what's the worst he could have said?  "No."  That's it.  The lesson I received was to discover what mattered most to me, how to get it, and then ask for it.

There is a quote that floats around, and is usually attributed to Mahatma Gandhi.  In my quest to make sure I got the quote correct, I found about 25 different answers online, so I'll just use the one that is most familiar:

"We must be the change we want to see in the world."

How often do we forgo what we really want, and sometimes really need, because we are too scared to ask?  I know I do it frequently.  I also know that it's to my own detriment that I keep pushing down what I want, what I need, in order to feel like a better mama to my baby.  I've really got to remember that it's my responsibility to go after what is most important to me.  My hope is that this new schedule will allow me more time for Babydoll, more time with Babydoll's Daddy, for housekeeping, and for me time (what's that like?).

Side note: Babydoll has already perfected my eyebrow-raise.  I love it.

The Green Ways of the Groovy Homestead

Do you ever get so used to doing something a certain way, that when you come across someone who does it differently, you're kind of blown out of the water?

I'm pretty sure that sentence makes sense to no one but me.  Sometimes, it's hard to translate what I'm thinking into the written word.  Stick with me.

Babydoll's Daddy had major surgery a couple weeks ago.  I took time off work to be with our Babydoll, and his mom ("GG") came to town to "help" (yes, I intentionally put that word into quotes) while he was hospitalized.  My friend, Andrea, recently challenged our mommy group to find the silver lining in shitty situations.  I'm so grateful to her for that challenge, because it helped me put things into perspective during a very difficult, trying time.  GG and I do not see eye to eye on most things.  She is respectful to me, and I to her, but after two days, I've had my fill.  BD is usually the buffer between us, but he was in the hospital for six long days.  I really, really missed him.  I knew that I relied on him for a lot, but I had no idea just how much until he was gone.

Anyhoo.

While GG stayed with us for that week, I realized over and over just how differently we live.  I didn't think that our home was any more or less eco-friendly than other homes.  I'm so used to how we run the Groovy Homestead, being mindful of water and power usage, recycling, reusing, reducing, etc.  I was thrown for a loop when:

GG kept throwing her plastic water/soda bottles in the trash.  I pointed out to her, a few times, that we have filtered water through the refrigerator - it's cold and it tastes good, so there's no need to use bottled water.  I also reminded her, several times, that we recycle, and all she needed to do was place her bottles on the counter top, and I would take it from there.  Yet every time, I opened the door to the trash, there was a heap of plastic bottles.

GG leaves the TV on, even if it's not being watched.  Most of the time, she was knitting or reading or doing a puzzle, not watching it at all.  I could see the power bill skyrocketing in my head.  I asked her, a couple times, "What are you watching?"  Her response: "Oh, I don't know.  It's just background noise."  (That's not true - she kept the volume so low, I couldn't hear anything.)

GG offered to clean BD's bathroom.  Awesome!  I told her that I use vinegar and baking soda when I clean, but that if she wanted to use something else (i.e. Clorox), to please wait until I had Babydoll out of the house, so she wouldn't be breathing in the fumes.  GG balked at this, but a few days later, she asked me to show her what I use and how I use it.  She was amazed at how simple it was and that it worked.

We went out to dinner one night to a local brewpub.  I was familiar with the menu and I knew that there wasn't anything on it that A) Babydoll would eat and B) that I would want Babydoll to eat, so I brought her food with us.  GG asked if Babydoll would eat a grilled cheese.  I told her that she might (no guarantee) but that the cheese used is probably "processed American cheese food" (or whatever Kraft slices are called) and the bread is probably white bread.  GG knows that we feed our kiddo mostly organic food and only foods that provide real nutrition, so it gave me the opportunity to have a real conversation with her about the benefits of healthier choices in our food.  Her response: "Oh, if I put that much goodness in my stomach, my body just wouldn't know what to do!"

As she did during her last visit, she questioned my use of cloth diapers.  I explained to her that no, they aren't a waste of money (because of the use of water and the washing machine), and that the chemicals used in today's disposable diapers are highly toxic.  I showed her, once again, how easy it is to use modern cloth diapers (and how cute they are).

The silver lining to her visit was that she was able to be with BD at the hospital, while I kept Babydoll in her routine of story time and play group and toddler time during the day.  We swapped places in the afternoons and Babydoll had a lot of fun with her grandmother, while I got a few quiet moments with BD.  And it opened my eyes to the efforts we make in our home to (hopefully) make the world a nicer place for our child.

That's the true gift.

Trippin'

Last week, our little family hit the road to visit old friends who live about 10 hours away.  The drive there was relatively uneventful...when Babydoll was sleeping.  BD and I took turns keeping her company in the backseat, while the other drove.  It was a mostly peaceful journey.

BD had a doctor's appointment that couldn't be rescheduled, so he had to leave us a couple days early.  For weeks, I'd been seriously worried about taking that long drive back on my own.  He's so much more patient than I am (in my opinion, he is the better parent for that reason and so many more).  I worried that she would sleep the whole time, then be up all night when we got back home.  I worried that she wouldn't sleep at all and just scream at me the whole time.  I worried about everything.

I got a taste of what it might be like when we drove back to our friends' house, after dropping him off at the airport.  It's about a 75-minute drive, and Babydoll was extremely unhappy the entire trip.  She cried and screamed and let me know that things were not good in her world.  I stopped once and checked her diaper, offered her water and milk, a pouch of applesauce, toys, you name it - I tried it.  I stopped again about 20 minutes later.  I pulled her out of the car seat and just hugged her.  Hugged, and rocked, and sang, and said every soothing thing I could think of.  Once she calmed down, we took a short walk and checked out some interesting things on the ground and up in the sky.  I put her back in the car seat and she started again.  I figured that we couldn't live in the parking lot of Freemark Abbey for the rest of our lives, so I shook off my own tears and hit the gas.

She fell asleep 10 minutes before we arrived back at our friends' house.  Of course.

As much as I hated that drive, I'm thankful that we had it, because it told me I better get my shit together and have a better strategy for when we drove home.

We left town on time, and I had my armory in place.  Babydoll's car seat is rear-facing and in the middle of the back seat, so it's pretty easy for me to watch her in the monkey mirror and hand stuff to her from the driver's seat.  Here's how I rocked it:

• I had a sippy of water and one of milk in my cup holders.
• I kept a box of Bunny Grahams in the front seat and handed her a couple at a time.
• I dressed her in stretchy leggings and a t-shirt, no shoes.
• I had an extensive playlist of Adele, Jeff Buckley, Heart, Kings of Leon, Zac Brown Band, Bruno Mars, Plumb, Eva Cassidy, Indigo Girls and Neil Diamond set up on shuffle (she has eclectic taste).
• I took my time - we took a leisurely lunch at the family-friendly Harris Ranch.
• I kept a box of toys in the front seat.  I'd hand her one and when she got bored with that, I'd hand her another one.  The box held a mix of books, stuffed animals, noisy toys, quiet toys and a MagnaDoodle.  When I stopped for gas/lunch/peepees, I'd gather all the toys and refill the box, then start over when we began driving again.

I don't know if all of the above really worked, or if she just sensed that Mama really needed her help in getting us home safely, but we had such a nice drive back.  

Until I got a ticket.  Sigh.  "But officer, it didn't feel like I was going that fast."