In My Bag Of Tricks

I get asked a lot, "What do you use for ________________?"

Laundry Detergent: Charlie's Soap.  Awesome.  I started using it for my cloth diapers (after getting horrible build-up and a repelling problem with Planet Ultra); loved it so much, I switched all of our laundry to it.  You use one little scoop for a full load, and I only use a half scoop for the diapers.  It lasts forever.

Dairy Products:  I'm lactose-intolerant.  It sucks.  No milk, butter, cream, or, worst of all, ice cream.  I use organic almond milk for my coffee and cereal, and for baking.  For "butter," I use Earth Balance Soy-Free spread.  It's yummy and makes me happy.  My tummy is okay with yogurt and frozen yogurt.  I eat plain, non-fat Greek yogurt every day, usually with a little organic honey and granola.

Cleaning Products: no chemicals here.  Except for dish soap, I use only white distilled vinegar and baking soda to clean.  For an all-purpose cleaner, I mix equal parts vinegar and water in a spray bottle, with 20 drops of tea tree oil and 15 drops of lavender oil.  For dish soap, we use Whole Foods 365 Mandarin-Ginger.  It's the same formula as Seventh Generation's, but costs $1.00 less.

Cloth Diapers: besides Babydoll, this is my favorite topic!  BD finally got on the CD train a few weeks ago.  What made that previously unattainable event happen?  GroVia hybrid diapers.  He does often use the disposable inserts, but they contain much less SAP than regular disposables, and they're biodegradable.  Woot!  For a nighttime diaper, I use Rump-a-Rooz G2 one-size pocket diapers, stuffed with a Baby Kicks hemp insert, Hemp Babies insert, and the large Rump-a-Rooz microfiber insert.  For daytime, Happy Heinys one-size pockets and bumGenius 4.0 one-size pockets remain in rotation, along with a couple of BumCheeks I picked up from BabySteals.  I use cloth wipes from Under the Nile and GroVia, and I make a wipe solution of California Baby Diaper Area Wash and water in a small spray bottle.  I just spray as needed and wipe her down.

Food Storage: Anchor Hocking and Kinetic Go Green glass storage containers.  No need to worry about BPA leaching into our food, or stained and stinky plastic containers cluttering up my cupboards.  I keep Babydoll's food in Green Sprouts containers.

Baby Food: except for her cereal and puffs, I make her food.  It's simple, takes about ten minutes from start to finish, and it ensures that we know exactly whats's going into her little tummy.  We use Earth's Best Rice Cereal and Oatmeal, and Happy Baby Puffs.

Baby Wash and Lotion: California Baby Calming Bodywash and Lotion.  On the VERY rare occasion she gets diaper rash, a dab of their Calming Diaper Rash Cream.  Actually...in the five months this kiddo's been in cloth, I think we've only had one occurrence of diaper rash.  Yay cloth!

What else do you want to know?  I'm a researching fool, and yes, I do research damn near everything that comes into our home.  Obsessed?  Me?

There's No Crying In Baseball...Or In My House

Let me just put this out there - if your baby is crying and you don't pick him/her up, I will.  A baby crying breaks my heart, and it kills me when parents don't attend to their crying child as soon as possible.  Babydoll and I were in the store the other day, and I heard a baby crying.  It kept crying (I mean, for several minutes, and it wasn't fussy-crying, it was crying-crying), so we stopped what we were doing and tried to track down that baby.  Unfortunately, I couldn't find him, but if I had, I would have had a word or two with his/her parent.  I generally try to stay out of others' parenting business, but I feel that strongly about leaving a baby to cry.

Children whine.  Toddlers throw tantrums.  Babies fuss.  I know.  I'm not necessarily talking about that.  I mean crying.  Crying has been a topic of discussion lately in my mommy group (have I mentioned how kick-ass my mommy group is?), as several of us have babies going through teething, growth spurts, general crankybuttness, at any given time.  One of my mama friends is suffering from a severe lack of sleep, because her babe simply will not be soothed.  BD and I are somewhat in that same canoe, with Babydoll's own sleep issues, so I shared with her as much information as I could (primarily from Dr. Sears and Peaceful Parenting).  She and her husband were contemplating letting the baby cry it out.  Let me assure you, this mama is pretty granola and definitely not the Ferber-type.  I know that she is at her wit's end, and I don't blame her for grasping at any solution right now.

Crying It Out, a.k.a. CIO, is a method of sleep-training for babies, first made popular by Dr. Richard Ferber (though he never used that actual phrase in his book Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems).  The idea behind CIO is that if the parent constantly soothes the child to sleep (via nursing, rocking, swaying, etc.), the child will never learn to soothe himself.  So, upon first reading, that kind of makes sense, right?  Here's the thing: almost all sleep-training methods involve letting the child cry for any amount of time.  If you have a baby, or have been around them enough, you know that once they get going, there's some hardcore crying that goes on when they get upset.  Now I'm going to break out a list of why we never, NEVER, let our sweetheart cry like that if we can help it:

1.  Crying It Out causes brain damage.  Yes, it does.  Study after study has proven that long-term crying greatly affects a baby's developing brain.

2.  Crying It Out causes stress in infants (duh).  That stress hinders not only their brain development, but their physical and emotional development as well.

3.  Crying It Out leads to depression.  What's more sad than a bummed-out baby?  A depressed baby is a detached baby.  He will have a harder time accepting and giving affection as he grows older.

4.  Crying It Out doesn't work the first time.  The method has to be used over and over, meaning your baby cries, on his own, for multiple days and nights.

5.  And finally, this is the most heartbreaking thing about CIO: the baby doesn't stop crying because he soothes himself.  He stops crying because he gives up.  His little brain processes that no one is coming for him, no one will soothe him, no one will meet his needs.  For this reason alone, we do not allow Babydoll to cry it out.  Ever.  No matter how exhausted we are.  We are her parents, her care is our most important task at any given time.  She doesn't know that Mama has a meeting in the morning, or that Daddy doesn't feel well.  She only knows that she needs something, and it's our job to provide her with what she needs.  That could mean she's hungry and needs a bottle, her butt needs to be cleaned, her mouth hurts from those GD teeth, she's bored, or she just needs a cuddle.

Why do people have children if they don't want to raise them?  Time and time again, I am struck with how little respect people have for their children.  They aren't just kids; they're small people.  How you raise them is how they will be as adults.  I want my daughter to be loving and affectionate.  I want her to know that her family adores her and cherishes her.  I want her to be a strong, independent person.  I want her to know that no matter what else is going on in our crazy world, she is our first priority, always.  When Babydoll cries, it makes me cry.  BD can't handle her crying either - he says it hurts him.

I don't know why people expect their babies, and even older children, to sleep through the night every night.  I don't sleep through the night.  I often wake up thirsty, or have to use the bathroom, or I get a twinge in my lower back, or I'm just flat-out uncomfortable.  BD is a toss-and-turner.  I often wake when he does just to make sure he's okay.  Because I love him.  Because I worry about his well-being.  Why wouldn't I do the same for my beautiful baby?

There is a powerful post over at PhD In Parenting - CIO: 10 reasons why it is not for us.  I referenced it in this blog, and I am constantly linking it to other parents who are having a hard time understanding why crying is so damaging.  If you, or someone you know, is struggling with whether or not to let the baby cry it out, please check that link, and the others I've listed here, for 100 reasons why you just shouldn't.  Please. 

Vintage Parenting

My family's new favorite pastime is mocking BD's and my parenting style.  Every recent gathering has turned into a game of who can be the biggest jerk about cloth diapering, organic foods, babywearing, and co-sleeping.  In true family fashion, if I show that it upsets me in any way, the teasing only gets worse.  So like the proverbial duck, I just let it roll off my back (until I get home to my own pond, where I can be pissed all I want).  I can bitch about it here, because not a one of them read my blog.  Nor do they ask questions about why we parent the way we do - I wish they would, instead of passing judgement about how weird we are, and how we are obviously damaging our child with our hippie parenting ways.

A very dear, wise mama friend of mine pointed out to me that the way in which we parent was not so unconventional or weird many, many years ago.  This is true.  So in that line of thinking, I've decided to give our childrearing ways a new name: Vintage Parenting.

I tend to prefer the old, the antiquated, the vintage, in most aspects of my life, so why not my parenting?  I hate modern medicine, modern furniture, modern cars.  My dream is to live on a commune somewhere, with like-minded people who just want the world to be a nice, clean place for themselves and their babies.

I do love modern technology.  I have a hard time remembering life before my iPhone...but you know, I bet after a week or so, I wouldn't miss it.

Another wise mama friend commented that many people are just out there breeding, popping out kids right and left, rarely recognizing that every child is a gift.  For BD and me, we wanted our baby desperately, and the night she was born was truly the best night of our lives.  After years of being told I could not get pregnant, that positive pregnancy test (okay, more like 6 positive pregnancy tests) was a comet, a shooting star, a long-time wish come true.  From the time that I was little, every time I blew out a birthday candle, or threw a penny in a fountain, I wished for a baby girl of my own.  My daughter is, without a doubt, my greatest and most cherished blessing.  Why wouldn't I hold her close as often as possible?  Why wouldn't I make certain that she had the best we could offer for her well-being?  Why wouldn't I do the very best I could?

I know that I can't protect her from everything.  I know I can get a touch obsessed about certain things.  But I am passionate about my baby.  I love her more than anything.  Even chocolate.

I am my own StumbleUpon.

One of my nephews is forever posting links on Facebook that he gets from StumbleUpon.  I wish I had had the brilliance to make this website my own reality years ago - we'd be stinkin' rich right about now and the mortgage on our little home would be paid off.  I am constantly getting lost in the Internets by clicking on one thing which leads to another and then another, and so on.  It's usually other blogs that ensnare my curiosity and keep me clicking.  For example, today I Googled "pad phet" because we are going to dinner with the folks tonight, and I don't know how to pronounce this dish.  I want to order it and I hate sounding like a doof when ordering foreign food.  "Phet" is pronounced "pet."  But here's the order in which I stumbled around on my lunch hour:

Google "pad phet" ----->

Blazing Hot Wok ------>

City Mama ------>

Foodily -------->

Dash & Bella ------>

A Gay Marriage Etiquette Guide ------>

Fiat's New Convertible ------->

Gmail

I had to stop there - the lunch hour was over, and I felt I had sufficiently spent my allotment of wasted time on a Tuesday.  FYI: the new Fiat is nowhere near as cool as the back-in-the-day Fiats.  BD and I saw an old one on the road the other day (he knew exactly the year and model because he's a car-nerd like that) that was in pristine condition. 

Yes, I'm aware this post is not one my usual "you need to know this stuff right now" blurbs.  I've been busy at work and at home.  Babydoll turns 6 months old today!  And we are taking her on her first groovy road trip to a groovy beach for a long, hopefully groovy weekend tomorrow morning.  Wish us luck.

Oh!  I can tie in EWG's 2011 Sunscreen Guide to today's post.  We use California Baby on the Babydoll, and Episencial on ourselves.  Post-sun, we use an organic, pure Aloe Vera gelly (can't remember the brand off the top of my head, but it's made in California and sold at Whole Foods).  Check your aloe before applying to your child (or yourself) - several drugstore brands contain parabens.

Okay, I gotta go.  Hope everyone has a happy and safe Independence Day celebration!

The Great Vaccination Debate - Part Deux

In case you missed my disclaimer in Part One, here's the deal: I'm not a doctor, or a scientist, or any kind of medical professional.  Just a mama here.  Please don't take my words to your kid's pediatrician without doing your own research.  We made these decisions for our child, and our child alone.

In my last post, I wrote about how we skipped Hep B and vitamin K when our Babydoll was born.  The on-call pediatrician who came to check out our daughter thought we were crazy, and though we were able to provide him all the research we'd done, he still looked at us like the crazy hippie folk we are.  Whatever.  This same doctor flounced into my room, reeking of cologne and attired in fashions generally seen on "Jersey Shore."  He also adminished me for having the baby in my bed instead of her rolling plastic box, even though it was easily 65 degrees in that room and we were freezing.  Guess why he didn't become our pediatrician.

Before Babydoll joined us outside the womb, I began reading.  And reading.  And reading some more.  I read Dr. Sears' The Vaccine Book.  At the urging of my boss (who gave me his copy), I also read Dr. Cave's What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Children's Vaccinations.  I got more out of Dr. Cave's book, than I did Dr. Sears' (don't get me wrong.  I am so down with Dr. Sears and all of his hippie childrearing ways).  I won't paraphrase either book for you - I think you should read them for yourself.  If you're looking for a book report, this ain't it.

I also pored over the information presented at Generation Rescue - and there's a TON of information over there.  I checked the website for The Institute For Vaccine Safety (run by Johns Hopkins) to familiarize myself with each vaccine's marketed brand name.

I reviewed the CDC's recommended schedule of childhood vaccines, and that's when I discovered some interesting things:

1.  They pump a whole lot of crap into babies when they are only 2 months old.  2-month-olds are shot up with seven diseases (eight, if Hep B is included) in one visit.  My hormonal knocked-up self cried about that for a good hour.  I still get the shakes when I think about all of those diseases having to be fought off by one very weak immune system.  And at this tender age, a great many doctors, researchers, and scientists agree that the immune system is incapable of adequately responding to the vaccines in such a way that immunity begins to develop, so:

2.  They repeat that business at 4 months old and 6 months old.  The infant's immune system is still in development at this point, but is more advanced than at birth or two months old, and is more readily capable to fight off the diseases, which leads to immunity.

3.  The rotovirus vaccine (brand name: Rotarix) is 100% bullshit, in my opinion.  Rotovirus is the leading cause of diarrhea in children, from birth to five years old.  If left untreated (meaning, you don't adequately hydrate your child), it can be fatal.  The initial rotovirus vaccine was introduced in August 1998; it was pulled in November 1999.  You know why?  It caused a rare bowel obstruction in infants and was killing babies.  In addition to killing babies, Congress launched an investigation into several members of the CDC's advisory committee who had recommended the vaccine.  They found that some of the committee members owned stock in the pharmaceutical companies in question; some members owned patents on the vaccines; and specifically, Dr. Paul Offit owned a patent on that particular vaccine, and had recommended its addition to the CDC's schedule for childhood vaccinations.  Thank you to Congressman Dan Burton for having the balls to question lobbyists and pharmaceutical companies!  Finally, Groovy Mama has love for a Republican.

After months of research, speaking with our pediatrician, and searching our hearts, we decided to delay vaccinating our daughter until she was four months old.  She gets one shot per month, and yes, we skipped Rotarix.  We will also delay MMR - unless you live under a rock, you've probably heard that this vaccine is the one thought to be tied to autism.  Experts go back and forth about this pretty much daily.  We didn't base our decision about MMR on any of the autism hype - we are just following what feels right to us.

I asked on Facebook, if any of my friends or family had done a delayed or alternative vaccination schedule.  Out of 25 answers, only one mother had (she happens to be a mom whose parenting style I identify with).  Everyone else said pretty much the same thing: "Just follow the schedule!  We did, and our kids are fine."

Well, okay.  I'm not trying to change the world, I guess I just wanted to gauge how out there my ideas were.  Another catalyst occurred when we took Babydoll to her one-week pediatrician appointment.  While we were waiting, a mom came in with her 15-month-old daughter (I don't just magically know that - I overheard her say it).  The mom told the receptionist that they were there for shots, to which the receptionist replied: "Which ones?"  The mom looked at her blankly, and said "Um, I don't know.  Don't you have it in her file?"

Whoa.  Really?  Seriously, lady?  BD and I looked at each other, incredulously.  This mom doesn't know what disease(s) is about to be injected into her daughter?  She probably also doesn't know what side effects to look for in the aftermath.  She probably doesn't know to give her daughter a little extra vitamin C and vitamin A in the days before the shot (immune boosters - helps the body fight better and ward off a fever).  Poor kid.  Her shoes were sparkly, though.

By the time Babydoll begins school, she will be current on all of her shots (except the aforementioned Rotarix, but they only get that twice in infancy).  There are a couple other vaccines we will skip as well; we feel that they are unnecessary and we'd rather not subject our child to anything more than what we feel she needs.  There are a lot of funky ingredients in today's vaccines - check out these potential side effects.

Another argument posited to us was: "Well, I got all my shots when I was a kid and I'm all good."  Okay, so let's talk about how the schedule has drastically changed in 25 years, shall we?

In 1983 - children received a total of 10 vaccinations from age two until age six.

In 2008 - children received a total of 36 vaccinations from birth to age six.

Quite a substantial difference, wouldn't you agree?  Check out this chart for yourself.

When it comes to your children, it is YOUR responsibility as their parent to make the best decisions for them until they are capable of making those decisions for themselves.  It is my hope that all parents educate themselves about everything concerning their child, rather than blindly following the herd.

There is an abyss of information on this topic.  There are thousands of books and studies written on the subject.  And, as always, every doctor has her own opinion.  The best parenting advice I've received is "Follow your heart and your gut."  So that's what we've done, with this and with everything.

The Great Vaccination Debate - Part I

Before I get started on this flaming hot topic, let me say I am not a doctor.  I'm not a scientist, or a nurse, or a medical professional of any kind.  I'm just a mama.  The decisions BD and I have made are for OUR child, and no one else's.  Got it?

I'm going to write this in two, maybe three, parts.  There is a lot of ground to cover, and I could go on for days about the subject.  There's a TON of research supporting both sides of the debate and I want to present it fairly and accurately.  You'll see that I am very obviously biased on the subject, but I want to make it clear that none of the decisions we've made were done so lightly, or without grounds.

When Babydoll was born, BD and I had already made the decision that she would not receive a vitamin K shot, nor the Hepatitis B shot.  Why?  She didn't need them, in our opinion.  Though we were questioned, together and separately, about it in the hospital, we (read: I) had done the research and our collective mind had been made up.

Newborns receive a shot of vitamin K at birth in order to prevent, or slow down, the very rare occurrence of bleeding in the brain.  Breastfeeding mothers (as I intended to be) can increase their baby's vitamin K level naturally by upping their own dietary intake of vitamin K.  Formula-fed babies receive high doses of vitamin K from enriched formula.  Additionally, our decision was influenced by my genetically-inherited Factor V Leiden thrombophilia, a condition in which those afflicted have a greater risk of developing blood clots.  With Babydoll having a 50/50 shot of inheriting the same disorder, no way in hell were we taking a chance.

The Hepatitis B vaccine is given to babies at birth in order to prevent (duh) Hepatitis B, a highly infectious disease.  We decided against this because A:) I'm not infected, and therefore could not pass it on to my baby, and B:) we don't engage in the high-risk behaviors associated with Hepatitis B (sharing needles, unsafe sex with mulitple partners...yeah, we're boring), nor do we work in the health care industry, which does carry a slightly higher risk of infection.  There is also some indication of a higher rate of SIDS in infants who have received the Hep B vaccine, as well as developmental neurological disorders.  Those four factors, primarily, helped us make the decision to skip this innoculation.

We did agree to the use of erythromycin eye ointment, because, at the time, we thought I would be having a vaginal birth.  Had we known I would be having a Caesarean section, we would have skipped this as well.  Erythromycin, either in ointment or drop form, is used to prevent neonatal conjunctivitis, which occurs when bacteria, from the birth canal or post-birth handling, enters the newborn's eyes.  There's actually not a lot of conclusive evidence supporting either side of this debate, but we figured we'd give this one the okay.

To be continued...

It's Not Just For Salad

Vinegar, that is.  When I first began exploring a greener existence, friends in the know schooled me on the art of cleaning with vinegar and baking soda.  I've never looked back.  Three things: cheap, effective, and non-toxic.  What more do you need to know?

Plenty.  I get it.  You know how you go to Wal-Mart (and I wish you wouldn't, but that's your choice), and you spend somewhere in the neighborhood of $40 for all your cleaning products?  I know, it's not often that you buy all of that stuff in one trip, but if you did, you'd spend about that much, whether you buy name-brand or store-brand.  And then, in a few months, you have to buy more.

White distilled vinegar, on the other hand, will run you about $3.00 per gallon.  A small box of Arm & Hammer baking soda is $1.00 (a four pound box is around $8.00).  A gallon of vinegar lasts me six months, and the small box of baking soda gets me by for two months.  There's the CHEAP.

Here's the EFFECTIVE: vinegar cleans glass and mirrors without streaks.  You know what else?  Vinegar is a natural disinfectant.  Seriously.  Baking soda serves as a scrub for toilets, tubs, counters, sinks...you name it, baking soda will scrub it clean.  Combine the two, and you get an amazing powerhouse.  Some examples:

• Baked-on grease in the oven?  Spray with vinegar, sprinkle with baking soda, and spray with vinegar again.  It fizzes (which delights the five-year-old in me every time)!  Let it set for about 15 minutes, then get in there with your sponge and wipe clean.
• Gunky drain ("gunky" being a technical term)?  Pour a 1/2 cup of baking soda down the drain, follow with about a 1/2 cup of vinegar, let fizz (tee hee!), then flush with hot water.
• Scummy bathtub?  Spray with full strength vinegar, sprinkle with baking soda.  Let sit for a few minutes, then use a sponge dipped in vinegar to clean.
• Mildew and mold?  Spray with full strength vinegar and let set.  The vinegar dissolves the mold and acts as a disinfectant.

And now for the NON-TOXIC: being pregnant meant I could no longer use Windex, 409, Chlorox Clean-Up...unless I didn't mind a potentially three-eyed baby.  Everday household cleansers contain toxic ingredients, and you don't have to be pregnant to be afraid of them.  You know how you spray your bathtub down with Tilex, then have to turn on the fan and/or open a window to air out the fumes?  Do you want to breathe that in?  Do you want your kids to be exposed to that?  Why not just take them to a Vegas casino and plop them down by the slot machines for some good old-fashioned second hand smoke?  I'm not being overzealous here.  With vinegar and baking soda, you don't have those worries.  They are 100% non-toxic (PSA: DO NOT combine vinegar with bleach.  That is extremely toxic.)

For my everyday cleaning, I mix a solution of one part vinegar to two parts water, 20 drops of tea tree oil (another natural disinfectant) and 20 drops of lavender oil (a natural anti-fungal, plus it smells nice).  I use this solution in a spray bottle, to wipe down my kitchen and bathroom counters, and for spot cleaning.

Care2 is an awesome, green-living website and they have a TON of ideas and uses for vinegar, baking soda, and plain ol' water.  Check them out when you have time.  You can also go to Arm & Hammer's website for a veritable cornucopia of baking soda uses.

So what I'm saying here, is that if you have children, you know just how quickly they go from being completely out cold to wide awake and demanding of attention the minute you start to clean something.  If you're using vinegar and baking soda, you can drop your sponge and attend to your Precious immediately (no crying it out in this household).  I love that I can effectively clean my home with minimal impact to my budget, and zero impact to our family's health and well-being.  Thank you, vinegar.  Thank you, baking soda.  I owe you guys a Bundt cake.